Sunday, December 2, 2007

I Have No Words

On November 23, 2007, my 18 and 13 year old daughters were killed in a traffic accident. I cannot begin to express what I'm feeling right now. Maybe someday I will have the words but for now, I don't.

61 comments:

Mamalogues said...

Kim, I'm so sorry to hear this. You're in our prayers and thoughts.

- Dana

Raquita said...

I am so very very sorry - I can not begin to say how much.. All of my prayers are with you.

News-Bitch said...

I am terribly sorry to hear about your daughters. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Ron said...

Kim, I don't know you at all. I don't know where you live or who you are. But I care about what happened to you. I can't fix it but I care. I am a pastor and I've walked that road with too many families over the years. I am not sure that anything ever really heals this horror. Time helps. But healing? Only God can bring that. If I can do anything ... including connecting you with some wonderful people who have been where you are and SURVIVED, I would love to do so. Feel free to contact me through my blog, or failing that, Dana from Mamalogues knows how to get in touch with me. But if you just need space I certainly understand. My prayers are with you.
Ron

Farrell said...

I saw your comment on Mamalogues. I can't...I can't...I can't even find the words. I have one daughter. I am praying for your guardian angel to lead you, hold you, hug you, wipe your tears, and clean up the messes when you get angry and have to break something.

Jaelithe said...

Kim, I remember hearing about this accident the day after it happened, and, being a mother myself, feeling absolutely sick at the idea of losing two children at once. But running across your comments on the internet, and then finding your blog makes me think even more seriously about how this could happen to any one of us, at any time. I wish I weren't a stranger to you. I wish I knew how to do something more to help than leave a stranger's condolences on your blog.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can't even fathom how you must feel. I can tell you are holding on, and staying as strong as you can for your youngest child, and I admire your strength and your courage.

Jonah&Jude said...

Kim, I saw your comments on mamalogues and I am so sorry for what has happened. I'm praying you have lots of loving and caring people around you to take care of you and help you through this painful time. If you need someone to listen and be there, or encouragement, you are so welcome to email me. I would be more than happy to meet with you, take you to lunch, coffee, or whatever.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Gregg said...

Kim, like Jaelithe, I also saw news of this accident. The news at that time hit me like a ton of bricks (or ton of anything else!). I also have two daughters that are about 6 years apart, but younger. Ever since, I've been thinking, "That could be us, too." I also felt an instant connection to WHOEVER this family was as a result of this similarity.

Now, that you posted on Mamalogues, you DO feel part of my life as I am a frequent visitor at Mamalogues, too.

I don't know how I would cope and still be strong for the rest of my family.

I am praying for peace and contentment for you while you mourn and celebrate the lives of your two wonderful daughters.

I also have a friend you operates an online prayer ministry and I am submitting you and your family for prayers there as well.

God bless you.

Polly said...

I am saying prayers for you and your family.

Zookeeper said...

I don't think there's anything I can say to help. Just that I'm thinking and praying for you right now.

nicole said...

I'm sorry for your loss.

Tracey said...

Sorry doesn't even equate what I feel for you. My wish is peace for you... No words.... just tears...

Laura said...

Kim, I also saw your comment on mamalogues. I am so very very sorry. I have no words right now to comfort you. But I pray that you are being surrounded with people that you love who can grieve with you through this horrible time.

A Buns life said...

I am so, so, sorry for your loss. I remember your story on the news and cried for you then. I have two children of my own, and can't even wrap my mind around what you must be going through and feeling. I hope and pray that you and your whole family, youngest child included, can get through this together in a way that can make you all stronger. My arms are around your family.

Karla said...

Kim, We don't know each other and as a stranger there is no real way for me to help. I can only say how sorry I am for you and your family. They say time heals all wounds; I don't know if that is true, but I hope that you are able to find the peace inside that will allow you to move on. Know that there are many prayers being said for you.

katie said...

there are no words. not for you or from you that will make this pain any less consuming. may you find even a moments rest in the assurance that there are strangers who are praying for and thinking of you at this time. may the One capable of peace and comfort overwhelm you with His love. God bless.

Christi said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. May the God of peace comfort you and your family this Christmas and New Year's.

Psalm 40:1-3, "I waited patiently for the Lord; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth--
Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear,And will trust in the Lord."


May your family be blessed,
a stranger

Nicole said...

Kim, I'm just so sorry for your loss. I also heard your story on the news and I, too, cried when I heard it. All I can offer are my family's prayers for you and your daughter during this horrible time. Know that many, many people are praying for healing and peace for your whole family.

Sarah said...

Kim,

My husband lost his 18-year-old brother in a car accident years ago, so we are no strangers to the pain you are feeling. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that you find peace in your heart and soul. Your daughters are with you this holiday season.

Sarah

Michelle said...

Kim and to your family,
I will pray for you, as everyone else and I will ask God to comfort your and your family. I know nothing I can say or do will make the pain go away, but please know that you are loved and supported.

May God grant you peace.

LB said...

No one can take away your pain, but I offer my love and prayers. I also saw the news; your daughters were exemplary individuals. Wishing you the solace of wonderful memories and the close comfort of loved ones.

Anonymous said...

Kim, I wish you as much peace as possible in this difficult time. I travel that stretch of road very often, and since hearing of the accident your daughters lost their lives in, I think of them every time I pass through that area. It's so unfair, and I'm so sorry you're dealing with this pain.

Your comment on Mamalogues reminded me that such things can happen to anyone, to people whose blogs we read or to someone who sits in the next cube at work, or to a family in a neighboring town. I am so so sorry for your loss. Just so damn sorry.

Andrea

Michelle said...

Kim,

I too saw your comment on mamalouges. Words cannot express how deeply sorry I am for your loss. You have a circle of strangers that wish to embrace you and help you find peace during this difficult time.
We are praying that god embraces you holds you close and comforts your soul. Sending thoughts, prayers and warm wishes your way.

Sheila said...

May God's love, and our thoughts and prayers wash over you with a feeling of peace and comfort.
You are a good mom. Have strength for your daughter and hold each other up until you feel like standing.
Know that everyone who knows your situation wants you to be ok.
Be ok.
Love to you & a big, long hug.

Sarah said...

Kim - I recently lost my brother, to a very bizzare allergic reaction. He would be 40 this Saturday. Reading your post made me clearly aware that I do not suffer my loss alone - that there are others suffering right along with me. I wanted to share something that was so beautifuly written and shared with me. I hope you find some kind of peace in reading it:

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and the sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear the load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says, "There, she is gone." There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

Anonymous said...

Words cannot express.

Please know that you are in my family's prayers.

Cherie said...

Kim-

I am so sorry about the loss of your daughters. I have two daughters of my own and cannot imagine life without them. Please know that even in this time of tremendous loss you are loved beyond measure. Please know that your what you are thinking and what you are feeling are important to those closest to you. My prayer is that you will have an abundance of guardian angels and people to help you now and into the future. My prayers are with you and your family.

Cherie

Trena said...

Kim-You and your family are in my prayers.

Sandy said...

Kim,
Since I read your comment yesterday at Dana's site, I couldn't get you out of my head. I am so glad that Dana put a link to your blog. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Just know that others are thinking about you, praying for you, and sending their love. My prayers are with you.
Sandy

Lindsay said...

My prayers go out to you and your family during this time.

Missy said...

Kim - I won't pretend to know what you are going through. I will tell you, though, that you are being raised up in prayer and love. I wish I knew you and could come to you with a hug and a comforting shoulder. Instead, I pray that God is providing that to you and that somehow, in some way, you are able to feel the love, support, and prayers coming your way from all of us.

Mary said...

Kim I am so sorry to hear about your daughters. You are definitely in our prayers.

a Friend said...

Kim - You have more thoughts and prayers than you will ever know. God Bless you and your family.

SusanIsk said...

My best friend was 20 when she died (she'd be 22 now). Not a day goes by that I don't think about her; but instead of feeling a sting when I do, it's more of a dull ache. I hope you can one day feel a dull ache too.

MommaLlama said...

My heart is broken for you! May the Lord continue to bless you in this time of grief... and they will never be forgotten.

nikki k-22 said...

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND
(by Mary Stevenson)
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me." The Lord replied, "My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and
suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I Carried You."

KIM: I pray for your daughters - all 3 of them - and YOU during this tragic time. I pray that you keep your faith in God. I pray that you are able to see the one set of footprints as He carries you now and I pray that eventually you will see TWO sets of footprints - when you are able to stand on your own feet again. Until then, know that God is with You and Your Family!

tilly277 said...

Kim,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss there are no words just two arms giving you a hug and a shoulder.

Tilly277

DeAnna said...

Love to you and your family - I pray that you find peace, love, hope and faith during this holiday season.

Nancy @ World Wide Rolves said...

If this is the accident I think it is - I drove past and had to exit the interstate near the crash site later that day - I'm so sorry. My prayers are with your family.

Anonymous said...

When a child dies, God is the first to cry. I imagine him by your side weeping with you now.

Jeannette E. Spaghetti said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

I have no words to mend your broken heart; only time will heal your wounds.

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Amy in StL said...

Kim, I can't imagine what you're going through. I just know that like all of us, you're stronger than you think. God Bless.

LeAnn said...

Kim~

We have never met, but I want you to know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers during this time. I cannot fathom what you are going through right now. The only thing I have to give are words and sincerity. I will be praying for you for God to give you strength to stand, breath and in some way have enough energy to get through the times ahead.

With all that is in my heart, please know that you have my deepest sympathies.

Anonymous said...

Dear Kim-I'm going to assume that your daughters were the beautiful, active young ladies I read about in the Post. The article moved me deeply. I am so sorry for your loss. Please allow yourself to grieve however you feel and remember to communicate with your loved ones as best as possible. My family has been through a tragedy similar to this as well. Thinking and praying for you and yours, Sarah

vikiroo said...

Kim,
I'm so sorry. I'm praying for peace and comfort for you and your family
Vicki

Becky said...

I am sorry. I am a mom too. Love, B

Stef said...

I'm an so sorry to hear about this. Even though I don't know you at all, my thoughts are with you.

Hall Family in MD said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you. ((Hugs))

Nerd Girl said...

Kim - I am sorry for your loss. I hope that God's comfort finds its way to you soon.

Anonymous said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I can't imagine the sorrow.

WowsRose said...

Kim, my Mom and I sat together watching the news and seen what had happened. It made us both so sad to hear and then I read Mamalogues comments and there you were. My heart just dropped for you. You are in my prayers for comfort and healing.

Nicky

Megster67 said...

God bless you.
I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. Stay strong.

stefanny said...

I saw your comment on Mamalogues also. I'm so so sorry. I'm a mom of 2 little girls and I'm just so sorry. Praying prayers of strength and love for your family.

Anonymous said...

Kim--I am so sorry. My daughter Katy was killed 4 years ago in a road rage accident coming home from college. I know your pain, yet yours is worse than mine. That is something you learn in Grief that as bad as your grief, the Mother who lost 2 daughters, only child grieves harder. The journey you are beginning is ups and downs but the best advise I can give you is to not look ahead to the next day, just concentrate on making it through the next hour. One moment at a time. Don't commit yourself but take care of yourself. Unfortunately as a Mom your family depends on you and will watch how you grieve. The pain doesn't go away, you just learn to deal with it in a way that works specifically for you. If you need me, I'm always available. gail@srhenry.com
Gail Henry
Kirkwood MO
Mom of Katy Henry
http://katy-henry.memory-of.com/

Anonymous said...

Oh, my heart hurts for you. I moved from the St. Louis area but still check the newspaper online and remember seeing the story and praying for whomever it was that lost these two delightful young women. To know you as part of the mamalogues community just reminds me to keep praying for you. I'm so sorry.

Cakes said...

Holding you in my heart...

Dawn said...

Kim,
My heart goes out to you and I am glad that you found the fans of Mammalogues to stand by you -not sure it will help but it can't hurt to have new friends that offer prayers and hugs.

MP said...

Kim I am so very sorry for your loss. I remember hearing of the tragedy and thinking about you..who I didn't know..my thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter..and healing for the new year.

Jamie Hensley said...

Kim- I am soo sorry. I was searching for relatives on line & I have run a crossed total tragedy! You are a soo strong!
<3Hugs your cousin Jamie Hensley

Debbie McClelland said...

Glad to see you have been able to be strong and move on, and that you and Maddy are doing well.