Do you remember when you were younger, counting down the days until Christmas, or your birthday? When you got closer, every morning you would wake up and say "only x days left!"
I've got the reverse going right now. Today I woke up and thought "48 more days." This time last year I had 48 more days with them. It seems like a blink in time.
I can feel it stalking me - the pain, the heartache, the urge to run away. I can shut it out for a while, promising myself I'll deal with it when I can. I let the pain in when I'm alone, so I can go cry and throw things and wallow. It helps to relieve some of the pressure for a little while. I know it's going to get worse before it gets better.
I can get through this, I know I can. I survived this past year.
It's frustrating to know what is bothering me but yet I can't do a damn thing about it.