Friday, May 30, 2008

The Other Shoe

If you live in the Midwest, you've heard of the impending doom headed our way this afternoon in the form of thunderstorms with LARGE HAIL DAMAGING WINDS DEADLY LIGHTENING. Of course, our church picnic is tonight, and I was planning to take Maddy. She looks forward to the rides and I look forward to the beer tent.

Even in the shadow of that threat, I woke up in a good mood this morning. It's amazing how wonderful it felt, after not experiencing it for so long. It's like my Mammaw used to say when I'd bump my knee - "just think how good you'll feel when it stops hurting."

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, there was fresh air coming in through the open windows this morning. Even Maddy got up after only two tries.

Walking into work this morning, the breeze was sweet with a hint of cool air and the smell of the hot dog vendor's wares being prepped for lunch. The air was clear and the sky was blue.

I think I've lived the past months waiting for the other shoe to drop, always bracing for what else could go wrong? And when I get a rare good mood, either something happens to ruin it, or I feel guilty.

Today, I don't care about what could go wrong. I'm enjoying this happiness, however brief it might end up being. And if it does rain and we can't go to the picnic, Maddy and I will sit on our covered front porch and watch the storm, light candles in case the power goes off, and shriek like little girls when the wind whips the rain on us. We'll hold each other during the loud thunderclaps and laugh when we jump out of our skin at the noise. We'll enjoy the calm after the storm and the clean rain smell in the air after the chaos blows away.

Thursday, May 29, 2008


If it could be captured in a picture, I think this might be it. Many of you have commented about this picture. I have to admit, it is my favorite.

Maddy's bracelet is made of rose petals from Jessica and Kelli's casket sprays. It is pale pink and white with silver beads. I also have a necklace made of the darker pink and white petals as well. Craig (aka Sugar) and his sister had them made for us. It was such a great use for the flowers and a permanent keepsake for Maddy to have later. This is the website.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

In Other News...

Last Wednesday, Maddy and I had our pictures taken by Jonathan Pollack. We went to Stiles Park in Edwardsville. It was a gorgeous day, and I'm very happy with how they turned out. Jonathan is a great guy, and his lovely wife/assistant Stephanie brought cupcakes (which were divine, BTW!).

You can see our photo shoot here, enter KimAndMaddy in the Private Gallery box at the bottom of the page. I highly recommend him for any photography needs you may have. He's very laid-back, and we didn't feel stiff or posed during our shoot. I'm not a fan of having my picture taken anyway, and it just makes me feel even more self-conscious when the photographer is saying "chin up, head down, tilt to the left, smile!" Oy. Just take the damn picture already!

He even took a shot of us from the back and my butt didn't look quite as big as I feared. He either Photoshopped it or my diet is working. Either way - Bonus!

Speaking of diets, the anti-depressant I'm on is working wonders on my mood and I'm not eating everything in sight. I've lost about 6 pounds since I started it a couple of weeks ago, and that's without going to the gym. Again, BONUS!

Speaking of diets again, my good friend has asked me to be a bridesmaid in her upcoming February wedding, and Maddy will be a junior bridesmaid. We're very flattered and thrilled to be involved.

I can't believe May is almost over.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Girls Gone Golfing

This past weekend BFF Lynn and I headed to the Lake of the Ozarks for a girls' weekend. We played in a charity golf tournament at Deer Chase Golf Club on Saturday.

I just started golfing a few years ago. I started out on Par 3 courses - the type where you can see the flag from where you tee off, and if you miss on your swing, you can just throw the ball to the hole. The first time I played a big-girl course, I got all freaked out. I was used to 150 yards to the green, and the first hole was 350 yards. Yes, I know, they give you a few strokes to get there, but all I could think was ZOMG 350 yards! So I whiffed my tee shot, and proceeded to smack the ball about 5 yards at a time with each subsequent shot. It wasn't pretty. I think I cried.

So as Lynn and I wound our way through the Ozark woods to this course, we were talking about that story, and reminding ourselves that this was for fun, no one expected us to be LPGA caliber golfers. We were here for sun and golf and beer and we were going to relax and have fun.

As we entered the gates of the club, ZOMG! BIG COURSE! WATER! HILLS! TREES! DOG LEGS! Yeah, we're so going to be dorks out here.

We played on separate foursomes, but she was behind me in the line up. My foursome consisted of Mike the post man, Mike from Kansas City, and Larry the Retired Guy. Nice guys who all golf pretty regularly. Fan.Tastic. I made sure I let them know that if they were A or B flight, I was Z flight, and to plan accordingly.

It was a best ball tournament thank GAWD because I did not contribute until the 11th hole, when I had an awesome layup shot and they actually used my ball to putt. I think they were all thankful I did something good, because back on the 4th hole when, after four swings at my tee shot, I got so frustrated I threw my driver. Then I had to apologize for acting like a two year old. And they were all "oh, no, it's okay, you're doing fine." I know they were thinking I was totally going to go all Bobby Knight on them.

We were anticipating the beverage cart to come around at any time but alas, it never did. When we went to the clubhouse between 9 and 10, we discovered that there was no beer cart. What.The.Hell? We each bought a cooler with a six-pack, I grabbed a hot dog, and popped the first top. After that, it was smooth swinging.

After the tournament, Lynn and I went back to the room and gussied up to hit the tavern for the afterparty. Most of the golfers were there, and we had a good time reliving the day. My reputation as tempermental proceeded me - my dad already knew the story by the time I got there. But he wrapped a putter around a tree once, so I come by my skills naturally.

We left the bar and headed to a fantastic restaurant for a steak dinner on the deck overlooking the Lake. I ordered the KC Strip and Lynn ordered the small cut of prime rib. We each received a side of beef. It was the biggest steak I've ever tried to eat but it was perfectly cooked.

We hit a couple of bars after that, and wound up at the dance club to work off the calories. The DJ played great 80s dance music, so Lynn and I hit the floor when we walked in the door.

All in all it was a great weekend. My foursome took 4th, so we didn't get any money, but it was still a lot of fun. We had a great time, met some great people, and made some great memories.

Pics here.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Ballgames, Beer and Nachos

Maddy had her first softball game tonight. She was originally scheduled to play last Wednesday, but it was rained out. She was very disappointed that she didn't get to play.

This is her first year to play softball. She has played soccer with the girls on her ball team for years, but never played organized ball. She's not too bad, considering her lack of experience. Or maybe I'm just one of those parents who think their child is a prodigy. *snort*

She was up to bat four times, and got a hit three times. She also got beaned in the ankle by the ball for a walk. The bases were loaded so the walk scored a run. She also was the first run to score in the game. Her fielding wasn't too bad, either.

To celebrate her stellar start of her softball career, we went to our favorite Mexican restaurant for tacos, nachos, and chips and queso.

She and Sugar decided to have a contest as to who could make the strangest faces. Because we're in public, you know, so let's act like goofballs.

Feel free to cast your vote in the comments. No prize, except bragging rights for the winner.

Friday, May 16, 2008

The Right to Write

When I started my blog almost a year ago, I had no readers. I didn't start my blog with the intention of garnering a huge following. I started it because I was reading some various blogs and thought "I could do that." So I did. I didn't start it to make money or have 500 daily readers. I did it as a place I could post my thoughts and feelings.

Now, having no readers (that you know of) sometimes makes you think you can post about anything. However, as Dooce says "be ye not so stupid." Boundaries are a good thing to have. My life was not going well at the time I started the blog, and sometimes I would just write a stream of consciousness venting about my current mood, but then I would delete it. This is the intra-web you know, Google can turn up just about anything.

That all changed when I replied to Dana's post about what I wanted for Christmas. Suddenly there was a lot of traffic on my blog, and my blog did not have the anonymity it once did. Of course, neither did my life. Now there is even more traffic coming from people visiting my daughters' website.

I was even more aware of what I should write and not write. There are topics I will not post about on my blog. I won't post things that I know will come back and bite me in the ass, no matter how tempting it might be. Those posts will never see the light of day.

However, what I do post are my thoughts, my feelings, my perspectives, my stories. Note the word MY in that sentence. I do try to not offend, but I've learned over the years that you cannot make everyone happy all the time. If I try not to offend one person, I will probably wind up offending another. My road to hell is paved with good intentions. My mouth has gotten me into more trouble, and it's mostly unintentional. I'm not a mean spirited person by nature. Oh, I admit, I can be a bit of a bitch. However, I do have a disclaimer on here - I apologize in advance blah blah blah. And I mean that.

Where am I taking you with this multi-paragraph lead-in, you may wonder? Well, it has come to my attention that a certain post from over six months ago offended someone. I used a real name. The story was not meant to be demeaning, however - see Hell, Road To (mentioned above). So, the post has been edited for future readers. The title of the post previously contained a derogatory term for women - however, it was a quote from The Breakfast Club, it was not used to describe the person. I was looking for a catchy title.

I was asked to take down the post, and I refused. I explained my position - that it wasn't written to be intentionally hurtful or insulting. However, after further thought, I will edit it to take out the names and amend the title. I won't delete it. The story still works without the names.

I stand by my blog and I will defend what I write. Quite frankly, that's a right I enjoy by virtue of being a citizen of this great country *cue the flags waving and the swelling crescendo of patriotic music*. However, I don't have a right to hurt someone, intentional or not.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

My Little Artist

I got a new phone last week. Sugar left his phone in his jeans pocket and it wound up being washed (NOTE - not by me!). Although it was snuggly soft and static-free, it did not work anymore.

As I was eligible for an upgrade and had been lusting after the iPhone, I told him I'd buy a new phone and give him my old Razr, which was only a year old. However, after further research, the iPhone doesn't run on the 3G network yet and I wasn't sure if I wanted to plunk down that much moola. I knew I wanted a phone with a decent calendar feature, and to still be able to check the weather and my email, and keep up on the breaking news *snort*

So, after much research, I chose this. I like the PDA features, the QWERTY keyboard, and the ease of navigation. I love the color and the scroll wheel -whee! It also has a really cool camera, which kept Maddy busy in the car. These pictures were taken while we were driving home one night - she would wave the phone to make it blurry then snap the picture. I think they turned out pretty good. Maybe she's got a future in abstract photography.

This is McDonald's.

My car audio display

Casa del Waffle - I'd recognize it anywhere.

Self-portrait of the artiste.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Maddy's New 'Do

On Wednesday, Maddy made her fourth donation to Locks of Love. 10 inches were taken for the wig, and then another couple were trimmed off to reveal this new swingy bob for summer.
She looks older, I think.

She has donated hair since she was 5. She said no more donations until she's older and she can reach to brush all of her hair. I agree with that logic, because I am not going to miss the morning routine of her crying and me losing patience while detangling all that hair.

Scott Mumper at Vogue Salon in Collinsville has done the honors for all four donations. Thanks Scott!

I'm Still Here

Hi there. Sorry for the lack of updates here, but I've been busy with the girls' fundraiser, setting up the girls' website (and by "setting up" I mean thinking of ideas and posts and then Melody does all the work, God love her), oh, and that work thing too, has kicked in again.

Things are okay. The rain isn't helping my mood. Mother's Day is this weekend and well, it hurts. But I'm not going to just sit and cry in a corner. I'm making brunch for Sugar's parents and grandparents. I know, it's Mother's Day and I technically shouldn't be doing anything, but I enjoy it, so I don't mind. It keeps me busy and makes me happy and isn't that all that matters?

Maddy got her hair cut for Locks of Love yesterday - 10 inches gone. And of course I didn't have time to upload the pictures, but they'll be on Flickr later tonight.

Keep checking back - things should settle down next week and I'll be back to a more regular posting schedule.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Fundraiser Information

I have created a new website for Jessica and Kelli. It will hold information regarding their upcoming fundraiser, as well as allow people to post comments, stories, and memories about Jessica and Kelli.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Upcoming Events

On July 13, 2008, at 7:00 p.m., I will be hosting a fundraiser. It will be held at the KC Hall in Collinsville, Illinois. Proceeds from this will benefit a scholarship fund at SIUE set up in Jessica's name, Kelli's school cheerleading team, and a couple of other organizations to be determined.

For $20 per person, you'll get dinner, dancing, a DJ, soda, draft beer (hopefully donated), silent auction, 50/50 raffles, door prizes, etc.

I'll be getting flyers and tickets printed up soon. Please spread the word and mark your calendars. If you have items for the silent auction, or know of someone who would be willing to donate, please let me know.

I'll be posting more information as it becomes available. I will also be setting up a website dedicated to the girls (thanks Melody!) and will post when that website is up and running.